Christmas With The Dragon
The cover art for this post is by Matt Maeda. He’s got wallpapers and all sort of kickass stuff HERE. He’s got many irons in the fire, so go check him out!
Christmas With The Dragon
By Rob Jensen.
Once upon a time there was a Kuritan. As one might expect, he was a heartless monster and he hated everything around him. He spent his days pillaging and burning, burning and pillaging, all across the Anti-Spinward Frontier of Draconis space and beyond. He took particular joy in terrorizing the peaceful farmers that lived there, ruining their lands and their homes, stealing their food, their men and women, and their very lives.
The peaceful farmers, having few military assets at their disposal and knowing they could never defeat the Kuritan and his army in battle, decided upon a trick, wrapped in an enigma, and given as a gift. The Kuritan would be attacking the capital city in two days, which just so happened to be Chrismas Day, so they had to act quickly.
They took the Crown Prince’s personal battlemech, an ancient and battle-proven Crab, and emptied the treasure vaults. They melted the treasure down and covered the Crab with gold and jewels, precious metals, and invaluable artefacts. While it was stunning on the outside, they had hidden deep inside its armored chassis a surprise for their enemy.
With an immense tungsten rod clamped in its claws and an immense white flag, made of the finest cloth money could buy, the Golden Crab plodded slowly forward, towards the cruel Kuritan.
The Prince spoke to him over the comms channel and told him that he would surrender his invaluable ‘mech without a fight if the Kuritan would wait until the day after Christmas to attack. Not wanting to reduce the gleaming Golden Crab to worthless slag, the soldier agreed.
After the Prince exited his beloved heirloom vehicle and was promptly disintegrated by a blast from an overcharged particle projection cannon, the Kuritan and his men, along with the Golden Crab, were loaded into their dropship and returned to their orbiting battleship, to honor the brief truce.
Once on-board the Draconis flagship, the Rasalhague plan was put into action.
A little farm boy had been secreted away, deep within the Golden Crab. The child was so scared and sad to be buried in the guts of this huge, deadly machine, so he was given a potion that would make him sleep a dreamless sleep. He was told that when he woke up, he would see a large red button, and that if he pressed that button he would instantly be back with his family, surrounded with Christmas presents and cookies and Christmas hams as big as his big fat jolly grandfather and that the Kuritan and his evil army would all be given gifts and hams too, and seeing this generosity, they would finally leave the Rasalhague people in peace.
The little farm boy awoke groggily in a cold, dark, humming chamber, lit only by the dim pulsating red glow of a big red button. Remembering his instructions and the joy he was about to bring into the world, the boy, smiling through the fearful little tears on his face, pushed the button.
There was a flash, and the people in the city below looked up and gasped in amazement, for in the night sky above, on this blessed Christmas Eve, a 3-megaton star was born, washing the magnetosphere with wreaths of luridly glowing green lights, and flinging debris down, to burn like flaming tinsel in the heavens. The people let out a huge cheer, for what they were witnessing was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
Author’s Note: The famous Great Yuletide Massacre that followed remains unchallenged in record books as the single highest terajoule-per-second orbital bombardment ever conducted against any ground target, military or civilian, since the First Succession War. It is often said that “the orbiting Draconis warships fired until the lights went out. Then they waited for the lights to come back on and fired until they went out again”. While highly implausible, this is at least consistent with the character of the Draconis military ethos.
Author’s Note: This story is not canon. Neither is it based on any canon event. This was a writing exercise that I ended up polishing to post for the enjoyment of others. If you enjoy it, great. I am happy. That is what I hoped for. Merry Christmas and a happy New Years.
